THIRD MONDAY IN MAY

Sometimes time passes too slow when we're in class and we complain about it. Little do we know that every second passes and we can never revert time. I used to think of vanishing from this world and wonder when would my life be over, but now I'm afraid that I don't have enough time to do whatever I wanna do in my life with my bae and my family. It sounds mushy and all, but I came to realize it a little too late. I wasted my teenage years trying to end my life almost every single day. Not to say that I regretted choosing that path, because it was never a choice. Mental illness does not mean you're psychotic, but it does make drive you crazy, it's never an option or a choice whether you want it or not. I'm not going any deeper into this, but there are more to life. I really hope I can get a part time job asap, save up for my future with bae. It's part of our life goals to travel all around the world some day.

Anyway, all my classes were okay today, but I was super confused during my 3D modelling session. I kinda enjoy sculpting manually, but making 3D modelling in 3D Max is kinda tough for me. I need more time to practice using the software. 

Btw, today's dress code for my bae and I was all black. We're emo kids from the 2000's Idk, still emo kid at heart, don't judge. I wish we'd taken an OOTD picture, but nah, not in college. We can do it some other days. Photos are memories, the more the better, that's if you wish to look back at your younger days. I accidentally threw all my kindergarten and secondary school life photos away, but it's too late to regret. I hated being photographed a lot, cuz I have really bad image perception of myself. Long story short, I really hated myself back then.

If anyone's wondering why on earth would my bae and I dress up for college, the thing is there's no harm expressing yourself no matter where you are, as long as you're following the dress code. College is meant for studying true, but how would you feel if you're forced to wear something that makes you feel uncomfortable? We're wearing outfits that we feel good in, and it's not even "dressing up" tbh. It's more like we're comfortable and happy with what we wear and it's a permanent style kinda thing, some days fancier or simpler it depends. Just because it's not your taste, doesn't mean it's bad or wrong. It's what we feel comfortable with, so yeah. This is was from yesterday btw, I don't wear heavy makeups to college cuz class starts early and I always wake up late lol.

I was kinda upset cuz I didn't get to see my bae before I got home from college by bus. I was in a hurry. He wanted to send me home, but I couldn't receive his messages due to connection problem. We sorted things out together and it was so kind of him to not be mad at me. He even got me a big packet of mixed nuts.꒰˘̩̩̩⌣˘̩̩̩๑꒱♡ He's always taking care of me in many ways. Whoever knows me long enough will know that I survive on mostly nuts lol. 

I hope tomorrow will be a better day for us, since we'll be jogging in the park at night, had been quite a few days since we worked out together.

Saw this when I came home from college.

Mom just bought me a super cute t-shirt from Cotton On, yay!

Dad's already in Brunei for some hair related events since this morning, I didn't really get to send him off cuz I had class. Sometimes I'm really envious of him being able to travel around the world for business trips, moreover regarding his favorite hair related field. It's not an easy task, nor it's stable at all, but at least he gets to see the world. (ﾟ⊿ﾟ)

Overall, today was a 50/50 good and bad day. Life has to be balance after all. It's up to ourselves to deal with our problems and issues, cuz what goes around comes around. Whatever we do will have consequences, karma has no deadline, so yeah.